I Never Really Stoped Falling
by Staying Strong13
Summary: Look in the Mirror what do you see? I see a shell of someone who used to be happy... Thats right used to be happy... past tense as I'm not happy anymore not even close. I'm to tierd.. Tierd of dealing with the pain of being bullied every day tierd of a the names tierd of all the yelling and blaming and now tierd of even breathing WARNING Suicide attempt self harm bullying. Oneshot


I looked eye to eye to the camera lense in front of me. "Look in the Mirror what do you see? I see a shell of someone who used to be happy... Thats right used to be happy... as in past tense I'm not happy anymore not even close." I took a deep breath and choked back my tears.

3 hours earlier...

I enterd the Great hall expecting to be sitting at breakfeast next to Hermione like always, but she wasnt there. I sat down and decided not eating just staring off and watching everyone else who was enjoying life, when I heard the fimiliar noise of hooting. It was time for mail. A large brown barn owl swooped over me and droped a red imvolope. Great... a Howler... Before I could open the howler or even check to see who it was from it poped open sending red sparks out towards me. "GINEVRA WEALSEY... FAILING THREE CLASSES! UNEXEPTABLE! YOU BETTER PICK YOUR GRADES UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT! UNLESS YOU WISH TO BE PULLED OUT OF SCHOOL AND BACK HERE TO BE TAUGHT BY ME!" the letter stuck its tongue out then ripped itself up. I glanced around seeing how many people had heard and just as I had suspected everyone had heard. Pansy jumped out of her seat which was next to Malfoy and started screaming "STUPID DUMB OLD WEASLEY, NEVER DID EXPECT ANYTHING FROM AN UGLY BLOOD TRAITOR LIKE YOU!" and with that laughter erupted from the whole slythrin house. Seeing as her words hadnt done as much damage as she had wanted she got up and innocently skipped towards me. She stoped in front of me and slapped me in the back of the head. I looked at her staraight in the eyes. Her eyes were filled with so much hate sometimes I thought maybe she didnt know how much she hurt me but other times I was sure she knew. "What you staring at Weasley?" she spat in my face. "Nothing but you'r hate filled eyes.." I whispered.

"what was that?" she asked standing up straighter throwing her hands on her hips and thrusting her chest out to make her look more bigger. "Nothing.." I mumbled trying to not start anything. Pansy reached behind me and grabbed the pitch of ice cold water, and dumped it on me. I let out a loud yelp as the cold water hit my once warm body. "Everyone here hates you and no one will ever love you... I promiss." she spat threw clenched teeth then. I got up and tried to walk around her but was grabbed and pulled to the ground. Pansy jumped on top of me after several minutes of punches and kicks and even the hollars of "fight, fight, fight, fight." I pulled myself off the floor and stormed out of the Great Hall tears streaming down my face. As I was making my way up the common room I ran into somthing hard. I landed on the floor me being very light weighted caused no thud. I looked up into a pair of green eyes. Harry held out his hand and helped me up. "Sorry gin!"

"it's okay Harry no blood no foul..." I said looking at Hermione who was standing to Harrys right eyes buldged. Ron to Harry's left just looked confused.

"Well Ginny I wouldnt say no blood... What happened." asked Harry

"Yea and why are you wet?" asked Ron

My eyes started to get wet. No I cant cry I told myself I hated crying it shows weakness. Hermione noticing I was about to start crying walked over and gave me a hug."I cant do this anymore... seriously it's to hard."

Hermione looked at me "Ginny I think you should take today of I'll tell the professors you are sick?" offered Hermione and you know what thats exactly what I needed. "Thank you Hermione." I said and shuffled up to my dorm.

As I walked in I droped to my bed and started sobbing. Why'd I have to be so stupid I mean I'm failing so many classes, And Why am I so ugly? Why do I obsses over guys I know would'nt ever like me in a million years! I wish I could just die... Thats it... I could.. you know just die... I could simply just kill myself and be over the pain! I jumped up and ran to my trunk. I rummaged threw looking for something good to wear. I shoved my way threw my jeans sweaters and skirts and was now at some dresses, I went threw them until I found the perfect one. It was a white strapless sundress that would look great with my flaming red hair. I threw off my Hogwarts uniform and slipped the dress over my head. I grabbed my makeup bag and sat down at Lavender's makeup stand. I applied some eye primer then smeared a light gold colored eyeshadow over my eyelid. I got out some black eyeliner and drew it on to my water lines. I pulled out my mascarra and applied it to my lashes and finished off with a light pink lipstick. I pulled my hair out of its usual ponytail and brushed it out. I quickly pullled ou my wand and magically made my hair supper shiny and straight. I then pulled out my trunk and got out my trypod and camera and set them up. Now all I have to do is press that tiny red record button spill out what I want to say then kill myself... I can do this I calmed myself I can do this... I laid my finger on the button and pressed down.

Harry's POV

I walked threw the Gryffindor door and apperently walked in on something important. I mean its gotta be important when Dumbledor and all the other staff members were here, right? Hermione quickly came up to me she was crying. "whats wrong?" I asked. She oped her mouth to answer but was cut off my Dumbledore announcing that every gryffindor go to the great hall, He then quickly announced into his wand that the whole school do the I asume alerted the other houses to do so. I was right because every house was sitting at there house table. Dumbledore stood up from the staff table and announced. "Hermione Granger Found a note and video from Miss Ginny Weasley the note said for all us to watch." He sat down and the video started.

:Ginny sat down on the bed she was all dressed up and she looked beautiful... wait shes crying..."Look in the Mirror what do you see? I see a shell of someone who used to be happy... Thats right used to be happy... past tense as I'm not happy anymore not even close. I'm to tierd... Tierd of dealing with the pain of being bullied every day tierd of a the names tierd of all the yelling and blaming and now tierd of even breathing" Ginny took a deep breathe and more tears streamed down her face. "Have you ever heard of that muggle movie Alice in Wonderland, Well thats how I feel I feel like Alice. Like I'm falling and I'm lost I dont know what to do any more..." she burried her face deep in her hands "I'm falling deeper and deeper and I cant get out. It's like living in my own Mad World everything is upside down! When you are little you're veiw of life is diffrent you expect it to be a walk in the park, but when your older the world decides it's time for a challenge. Well every difficult thing you've been through is the worlds challenge to you. OF COURSE THE WORLD DECIDED TO THROW ALL CHALLENGES TO ME AT ONCE!" Ginny wiped all the tears off her face then reached to her side and pulled something in to her lap. "I'm going to give you an example of whats you guys did to me, ok?" she reached to her lap and pulled up a knife. "blood traitor." she whispered then brought the knife to her wrist and cut.: a gasp went threw the room. :"stupid." slice "fat." slice "ugly" slice. words after words and cuts after cuts. "thats what your words did to me." "Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville... you guys were always there for me. So dont blame yourself. Ron,Gred Forge, Bill, Charlie, Mum, Dad, and even you Fluer Im sorry to dissapoint you but I'm to tierd." Ginny looked off to the distance then back at the camera. Harry I know you and everyone probally know I have had a huge crush on you since... I well was born.. and everyone might have thought my crush came to an end but it never did and never will. Harry I want you to know I never liked you for being a hero or even saving me that was just a bonus I like you for you." "Now moving on to Pansy... you were the biggest bully to me. Did you know how much you would hurt me? Was it fun? Well now I hope you know what you did." Ginny held up her arm. "I really didnt know why everyone hated me so much but now I do because I hate me too, Im ugly fat, and awful quiditch player, Im dumb, I obsses over guys i will never get, Im so dissapointed for even coming into this world."Ginny hugged herself and cried. "All of you bullys started this. You were the rabit that lead me towards the hole. The words were what made me fall. Then while falling I lost my sanity, litteraly I couldnt sleep and I would stay up and think of everythig every little word you said. Then finally when I stop falling and I land in to this little mad world and thats me reliving what you said to me but I never really did stop falling. I just keep going deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper... Im tierd of falling so I guess this is it. Goodbye...": the video ended and the room was silent... what were we doing she could still be alive! Wait... All of Ginnys boyfriends... I was jealsouse I was always jealouse... O my god I loved GInny! I jumped out of My seat and ran to find her.

Ginnys POV

I sat on the edge of the Astromany tower. Before I started the video I thought I'd change my mind about this but its just made it even easier. My hair and dress blew in the wind the sun was just setting everyone was probally watching my video. I stood up and looked down. Down under me was the entrance of the school. The wind blew pushing me closer to falling, the fresh air relaved my nerves. I closed my eyes and prepared my knees to jump but I felt tight arms grip around me and pull me down quickly. I looked up and my eyes met a pair of emerald green eyes. "HARRY! let go of me!" I screamed trying to get out of his arms.

"No Ginny I'm not letting you do this I just cant!" Harry said tears actually falling from his eyes. "And why is that Harry?" I demanded

"Because I love you!" He screamed. I stared at him eyes gaping.

"Sure you do. I bet Ron is forcing you to do this!" I screamed

"What will I have to do to prove I really love you." Harry asks.

I thought for a moment. "you have to let me jump."

"Gin no way. You arent jumping I dont care if you dont believe me but your not jumping. Do you know how awful my life would be without you! Id probally die with out you. You are not a coward Ginny do not take the easy way out! Id rather you live and not love me then die loving me. Gin please I'm begging you. You have so much life ahead of you you have so much potential and I am not letting you go threw with this. Ginny you are in your seventh year! you will be out of here soon. I did not destroy Voldemort for nothing Ginny. I probally would have gave up but you kept me going! Ginny please dont take the easy way out!" Harry said. (AU: Harry defeited voldy in Ginny's sixth year and shes now in her seventh year and Harry is repeating his seventh year along with everyone else who was in their seventh year last year.)

"but Im hurting so bad." I wimpered

"The year is almost over Ginny please I love you honestly." Harry said He then leaned in and pulled me into a kiss. It wasnt like all of my past boyfriends who kissed real hard and probally only wanted me for sex. Harry kissed sofly and not forcefully. We stayed like this for a real long time till we pulled away. I started crying "Harry Im so sorry I was being stupid its just Pansy really set me off this morning."

"What'd she do?" Asked Harry.

"Mum sent me a howler about my failing classes and pansy heard so she called me a stupid dumb blood traitor. Then she poured cold water on me then pulled me to the ground trying to fight me."

"Im sorry that happened Gin."

AU (This was a one shot but I just might add one more chapter should I?)


End file.
